Transitioning from Elementary to Middle School

By: Becca Phillips, Advocate

For many families and students, the jump from elementary to middle school feels big and really, it is. Your child is suddenly going to be experiencing new teachers, bigger and unfamiliar campuses and school grounds, changing schedules, lockers, shifts in social relationships and dynamics, as well as higher academic expectations and an increased sense of independence. This can leave both students and parents feeling a mix of excitement and nerves during the transition whether or not your child is on an IEP or has a 504 Plan. 

Here are some tips and strategies that you can implement during this transitional time:

Expect and Normalize Your Child’s Mixed Emotions

It’s common for students to feel excited one minute moving into middle school but then overwhelmed the next. Middle school means more independence, which can feel both freeing and intimidating. You can help your child in navigating through these emotions by letting them talk openly about their feelings, their worries, concerns, questions, and excitement. Share your own memories and experiences from middle school with them and frame challenges that they may experience as normal and manageable. Your child is not the only child experiencing these feelings. Oftentimes when children know that these feelings are not only valid, but common, it will help ease some of that anxiety and feel more grounded. 

Help Build Executive Functioning Skills Ahead of Time

Beginning middle school typically means the introduction of multiple general education teachers, rotating classes and possibly schedules, as well as more assignments to stay on top of and manage. Helping your child learn and build organizational skills and time-management skills ahead of time can make a huge difference. Here are a few tips and strategies to try:

• Planner or digital calendar

• Color coded binders or folders for each subject area

• A weekly “clean out” and organization of your child’s backpack

• Practicing and working together to learn how to break larger tasks and assignments into smaller, more manageable pieces

• How to make a checklist to support working memory and to stay on top of all the assignments that need to get accomplished for that day or week

• Working on emotional regulation and how to name feelings and use breathing strategies when becoming overwhelmed or anxious

• Start offering choices to help foster independence but also to help teach your child how to make decisions when given more independence

• Daily check-ins - what went well, what did you need help with, how can I support you, etc.

These are all habits and skills that will benefit your child even as they transition into high school and adulthood. 

Foster A Sense of Independence

Middle school is a great time to encourage your child to take more ownership of their learning and their daily routines, with structures still in place. You may have them pack their own lunch and backpack the night before, email a teacher when a question arises instead of you reaching out to ask, allow them to work on problem solving a low-stakes problem before you automatically step in, establish daily routines, teach life skills like laundry and allow them to help with cooking, allow them to face natural consequences for actions when appropriate. Finding small but meaningful ways to support their independence will help make the additional school independence they are going to experience in middle school feel more manageable. And remember to always give encouragement and positive praise as they are navigating through these scenarios and new responsibilities!

Stay Connected Even With Increased Independence

It’s normal for middle schoolers to crave more independence from parents and this new change happens. Staying connected is key for their safety, emotional well-being, and academic success. There’s a variety of ways that you can work on continuing to foster connection during this new time and that may include:

• Asking specific, open-ended questions instead of yes/no questions - Think about asking or saying “Tell me about your science lab experiment today” instead of “Did you do an experiment in the science lab today?” or “What was an interesting new piece of information you learned in Social Studies?”, “What is the art project you are currently working on?” etc.

• Keep an eye on grades and due dates for assignments to ensure they aren’t falling too far behind or missing work, but don’t feel like you need to hover all the time (unless you know that’s what works for your child)

• Attend back-to-school night and parent teacher meetings or conferences to stay informed

• Keep up to date on your child’s social circle, who they enjoy spending time with, and what activities they enjoy doing

Remember that connection doesn’t always have to be constant, but it should be consistent. You don’t have to navigate through this transition alone. Middle schools are going to have mental health providers, counselors, administrators, and teachers who are dedicated to helping students adjust.

Support Social Development & Monitor Emotional Well Being

Friendships can change quickly in middle school when students start exploring their identity, shifting friend groups, and experiencing more complex peer dynamics. It can be helpful to encourage involvement in activities and clubs to meet peers with similar interests, role-play how to respond to tricky peer situations, and talk about boundaries and how to navigate conflict. Friendships don’t have to look the same as they did in elementary school and that change in social development and dynamics is normal. 

As middle schoolers experience a lot of new “firsts”, it can bring on new pressures and big feelings. Keep an eye on your child for signs of stress because mental well being is just as important as academic growth. It can be helpful to establish predictable routines outside of school, check in regularly, encourage down time to rest and recharge, and reach out to the school team if concerns arise. 

We know here at EAA as advocates, prior educators, and many who are also parents, that transitions can be scary and transitioning from elementary school to middle school is a big step. However, with preparation and support, it is also a time for growth, to experience new friendships, increase confidence, and enter a new “phase” of life for your child. Remember to stay connected to your child and their school, help build skills ahead of time, and encourage independence. By doing this you are going to set your child up for success and don’t be afraid to reach out if you are needing additional support.